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Sen. Warren Initiates Ban on Replica Weapons After Terrifying Musk Tweet

Twitter overlord, Elon Musk, once again terrorized the world this week, tweeting a photo of his bedside table covered in Coke and guns. The guns appear to be a replica of a Revolutionary War era flintlock pistol, and a prop sci-fi gun with no trigger. The Coke appears to be Diet.

"This is why we don't want Twitter in the App Store," said Apple boss Tim Cook, "This man wantonly terrorizes the firearm ignorant community, which is our most loyal customer base." Tim Cook shared a picture of a tearful young woman wearing a shirt that read, "Bear Arms are for Bears."

Senator Elizabeth Warren is moving to ban all replica guns to prevent this from happening again. "Enough is enough. Every time we have to see a flintlock pistol or musket we have to relive the early days, when white men first began to steal the land from my people."

Senator Warren also shared worries about triggerless guns, “If it doesn’t have a trigger, what even determines when it kills someone? Does it decide on its own?”

This caused fearful speculation online about Tesla developing AI weapons, and corresponding offense in the AI rights community.

Michael Bloomberg, zeroing in on the real problem, is petitioning New York City to ban Diet Coke.

Story by Nate Holstein

New Hereford Bull'O'Meter: 68%
Elon Musk did cause a stir. We believe these responses will follow in the next few days.

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